Being In Total Control of Herself



woman wearing purple shirt holding smartphone white sitting on chair
Photo by bruce mars on Pexels.com

Well hello there! It’s the coffee drinking, road rage having, mindfulness exploring Amazing Alex.  This post has been sitting heavy on my chest and it involves the word BITCH…. have I caught your attention? All caps may be used to emphasize, scream, or represent an acronym of a word. For this post it is an acronym: Being In Total Control of Herself.  I first heard this acronym watching Iyanla Fix My Life.   She used it to help the woman find her voice so that she may speak her truth.  Iyanla defines this word as a defense against others to back them up and let people know that they have crossed your boundary and violated you.     Protect your boundaries!  If you do not protect your boundaries it will disrupt your commitment, consistency, and consciousness.



Well hey there! Its me!  The 7:00pm coffee drinking, Game of Thrones loving, positivity vibe throwing Amazing Alex.  I want to follow up with you about my previous blog.  You know the one titled New Year new me!  Its a summarization of the important three C’s: consistency, commitment and consciousness.   How do you get past planning the three C’s and taking action towards them?   Well you evolve.  Evolving reminds me of a butterfly.  When I was in the second grade, my entire class got a chance to take care of butterflies and watch them evolve.

My butterfly name was Sparkle………yes Sparkle, in my mind she was a girl.  When my teacher handed me my jar, I only saw an egg on a leaf; I still remember the confused look on my face.  When my teacher told me that she was giving us butterflies, at the time, I didn’t know we were going to start at the very beginning.  Every day I would race to my classroom to see if Sparkle was flying around in the jar, and everyday I was disappointed when I saw that she was still an egg.  A few weeks later, Sparkle was a caterpillar.

I was growing impatient, I wanted Sparkle to have her wings already but all she did was crawl around in the jar, eat all the leaves, and shed her skin.  I’m not going to pretend like my teacher didn’t tell me how the evolution of a butterfly worked, she did, and I also read about it in our science book.  For me, I just wanted to see instant results, a butterfly.  Well, Sparkle stayed in her cocoon for another two weeks before she decided to be a butterfly.

My teacher told us once they became butterflies that we had to set them free.  The sun was bright, and we were the only class outside to release our butterflies.  I opened my jar, but Sparkle didn’t fly off right away.  She landed on my hand and opened her wings than flew away.



closeup photography of yellow and black butterfly perched on pink flower



Evolution is mysterious; Sparkle evolved from a caterpillar to a butterfly because that is what they do genetically.  People can evolve as well, through patience, consistency, commitment and the consciousness to want to change.  Thoughts are merely goals that turn into action through our behavior.  If you want to evolve just do it.  When you are ready and willing to strive to be better you will do better getting you closer to your most amazing self.





Let me guess, New Year new me huh.  It’s that time of year when most people open to the world about their goals for the New Year.  Venting as they type up their post, write in their journal, fill up their agenda or make a vision board for what they would like to happen throughout the New Year.

I don’t know about you but 2018 reminds me of the backdrop that wasn’t a good idea to have in your picture.  It reminds me of living in New York standing in the middle of the street trying to get a taxi, but the drivers continue to pass by.  Sorry for being dramatic, I have never lived in New York, but I feel like that has happened to someone before.  My point is, I survived 2018 but there are several and I mean several things that I have learned from 2018 that has given me an idea of how I want 2019 to go.

  • Consistency
  • Commitment
  • Consciousness

For 2019 I will be working on my three C’s.    Consistency, commitment, and consciousness.  The first two C’s intertwine, however, there is a hung difference between the them.  Let’s just say that consistency is the daily routine you create for yourself.  Will you wake up early everyday to have more time? Would you stay active for a certain amount of days throughout the week to lose that extra weight?  Will you start reading every day to broaden your horizon?  commitment is the length of time that you intend to stick to this routine you create for yourself.   The time frame of the commitment is up to you.  Is this a lifetime goal or a 6-month trial?

The   good thing is that you have the power to decide and the consciousness to understand what you do not have the power to control.  There may be a time when the situation is completely out of your control, however, the one thing you can control is your response to that situation.  It was so easy to type that previous sentence!  Sometimes it is hard to work on responding in a situation that is out of your control.  It is something that should be practiced consistently.    There is a rainbow of emotions that each of us experience, we all tend to express these emotions differently.  What goals will you be working on in 2019?